I am a dung beetle.... constantly pushing shit around

Most Entries: Germany 64 (UK 63)
Most Wins: UK 5 (Germany 2)
Bookmakers favourite: UK 11/2 (Germany 400/1)



Malik Harris is the son of a German-based American TV presenter/cello teacher. Sam Ryder is a vegan who has worked for a decade to become an overnight sensation on tiktok. With followers like Sia, Justin Bieber, Alicia Keys and Elton John, Sam has the most star power. 

Malik's song sounds like it has come straight out of the 90s with is spoken section. Sam Ryder counts David Bowie as an influence and it shows in this song, it is very retro. Retro is pretty much a given for Eurovision

In the end nothing matters because everyone has faced that face that Ukraine, regardless of how average the song is, is going to win due to politics. Sam Ryder may be the second favourite to win, and it is good to see the UK actually trying, it accounts for naught. 

This round goes to... who gives fvck... ok UK then

Germany - 2 Wins
S!sters - "Sister"

Verses

Israel - 4 Wins
Kobi Marimi - "Home"



A song called Sisters sung but two unrelated women verses a song from the home town hero about coming home. The Israeli song features the line "Now I'm done I'm coming home". Hallelujah! I only wish he was done about 2 and a half minutes earlier. 



It is a change that the Diva is with Germany. The Israeli act thinks the world is like a Satellite going around him, which is also a role reversal. Not to Toy with anyone, because I cannot work out how to get  A-Ba-Ni-Bi and Ein bißchen Frieden into the general body of text. 

Kobi will be popular with the crowd, but the song has a bad 80's feel and is a bore. S!sters are only marginally better so I am going to go Germany. 

Germany
Final
Artist Levina
Song: Perfect Life
Odds: $101

Word of the day
Drei - Three
it could well be three years in a row at the bottom of the table for Germany with this one.

According to Lavina herself, the most impressive facts about her is “My particularly deep voice, my long legs, and the fact that I started taking singing lessons at the age of nine”. That is not particularly impressive. It is interesting and perhaps a bit sad that she has to bring up a physical attribute to answer the question, but then most women would which says more about the state of society than Levina or her song.

This entry is perhaps the least interesting out of everything going to Eurovision. Even Plagiarism claims fail to make it interesting. The song is not bad but the entire blurb around it does nothing to pump up a little known singer. Even the song writers are not that interesting, a couple of American hacks best known for B-sides, TV soundtracks and follow up singles. Yes Lindy Robbins has had a few high selling singles and even number one’s (at least one) , but this is Eurovision and chart success means little. What means something is that the writers say this song predates the 2014 song it is accused of plagiarising. That means this song has been sitting in the reject bin for at last 2 years… or that the songwriters have lied.

From 2493 singers to 33 to 5 to 3 to 2 until Levina was the last one standing at Unser Song 2017, The German National selection. Germany could have given Eurovision Axel Feige singing Wildfire, but instead we get a song that will only serve to fill a space at the bottom of the leader-board

In 1974 Germany finished at the bottom of the table. It doesn’t appear they will fare much better in 2017

Germany
Population: 80 716 000
Area: 357 168 kms2
Language: German
Eurovision attendances: 58
Eurovision Wins: 2 (1982, 2010)



Ann Sophie - Black Smoke

I can understand why this song came second in the German final because I don’t think it was good enough to win. I would love to know the real reason Andreas Kümmert (the artist who was voted the winner of the national selection) withdrew because his song was really good. I also hope the German broadcaster forces him to be their entry next year.

Ann Sophie looks remarkably like Germany’s most recent Eurovision winner, Lena Meyer-Landrut. Maybe she is Lena the repeat offender and she has written a fake bio and changed her name so she can enter again. It would not be the first time someone has lied about their personal information to get to Eurovision, right Belgium…

To quote Pricilla she’s ‘a bloody good little performer’, etc. The bookmakers imply that it would not make the final if this song was not an automatic qualifier and I agree.

In other bridesmaids, Wind came second at Eurovision twice, the second time in 1987

Country: Germany

History...
Debut: 1956
Previous Appearances: 56
Wins: 2 (1982 – Nicole 'Ein bißchen Frieden', 2010 – Lena 'Satellite')

2013...
Artist: Cascada
Song: Glorious



this clip has taught me two things. The first is that if you stick excessive amounts of glitter on your arms, it makes you look like a bear, not a good look for a chick. The second thing I learned was that if you wear a corset and don't pull it tight at all, it looks quite ridiculous.

This song is a gay/dancefloor anthem and that's all it wants to be. I doubt Cascada care if they don't win because every mardi gras for the next 12 months will feature this song and that will make them enough money, thank you very much.

This will do average to well in the final depending on what else gets in, that is my prediction.

I would say definitively that this wont win but Wunder gibt es immer wieder