I am a dung beetle.... constantly pushing shit around

So now we are at the pointy end of Eurovision. 26 performers left and this is what we know about them so far 

 

Cyprus / Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo (Semi 1 performance) - Strong opening song and a good performance. Will be forgotten in 25 songs time

 Israel / Eden Alene - Set Me Free (Semi 1 performance) - Mariah Carey wannabe, not starting from a good enough spot to win. 
 

Belgium / Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place (Semi 1 performance) - This song is in the wrong place. 4th is apparently the worst place perform for Eurovision
 

 Russia / Manizha - Russian Woman (Semi 1 performance) – performance and vocals were not as good as expected in the semi, but it was from semi one which had technical issues all over the place. Russia has few friends and will get few votes
 

 Malta / Destiny - Je Me Casse (Semi 1 performance) – early favourite. Starting position doesn’t help this song and so it probably won’t win
 

Portugal / The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side (Semi 2 performance) – this song is lovely and will pull some votes. I predict top 10
 

 Serbia / Hurricane - Loco Loco (Semi 2 performance) the trashy bitches from the nightclub who spill drinks on people so they can have more space on the dancefloor somehow made it to the final. Their backing vocalists are basically carrying this song, not that it is worth carrying
 

United Kingdom / James Newman – Embers (preview performance) - The UK is sending what the UK sends and it is rarely any good. This song was more an obligation than a contender. 
 

 Greece / Stefania - Last Dance (Semi 2 performance) – catwoman who’s thigh high boots are different to her mid-thigh length catsuit and it really irked me. Still not bad enough to be a Barbra Dex winner (worst dressed). We are starting to get into the more likely winners in the performance order though so in with a chance.
 

Switzerland / Gjon's Tears - Tout l'Univers (Semi 2 performance) - another song favored early, then people saw how high he wears his pants. 
 

Iceland / Da∂i Freyr og Gagnamagni∂ - 10 Years (Recorded from Second rehearsal) – A real shame that the second rehearsal performance is being used due to corona in the performers. They will probably lose votes for that which would not be fair
 

 Spain / Blas Cantó - Voy A Querdarme (preview performance) – Another obligatory song showing Spain really don’t want the expense of hosting Eurovision
 

Moldova / Natalia Gordienko – SUGAR (Semi 2 performance) – A song about being over masturbation and wanting to fuck a real person, we have all been there. It is oure, unmitigated trash. It is so beautiful. 
 

 Germany / Jendrik - I Don't Feel Hate (preview performance) – Another obligatory song. It is a battle for the bottom with 3 of the big 5 and a battle for the top with the other 2. This song is definitely part of the 3. 
 

Finland / Blind Channel - Dark Side (Semi 2 performance) – this song wont win, but it might hurt Italy by taking some of their votes. 
 

 Bulgaria / Victoria - Growing Up is Getting Old (Semi 2 performance) – If anything in the final will win the Barbra Dex for Worst dressed, it will be the pjs and sneakers of Bulgaria. Croatia from Semi 1 basically has the Barbra Dex in the bag, but this song will be up there
. 

 Lithuania / The Roop – Discoteque (Semi 1 performance) - another popular song and this has a fun performance. It will be top ten 
 

 Ukraine / Go_A – Shum (Semi 1 performance) – fuck this obnoxious noise. Why do the Ukraine do this? This jumped up with the bookmarkers after the first semi and I fear it won that semi so it could be in with a chance. I hope not
 

France / Barbara Pravi – Voilà (preview performance) – A much more traditional style from France who have not won Eurovision since 1977, so going back to what they do well make sense. 
 

Azerbaijan / Efendi - Mata Hari (Semi 1 performance) – this is really just making up the numbers and trying to steal votes from Serbia. I hope it does. 
 

Norway / TIX - Fallen Angel (Semi 1 performance) – there is really not enough in the performance for this to be top ten, but as a song is it better than most in the final
 

The Netherlands / Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age (preview performance) – The Lion King will probably steal this song for a updated musical performance. His twin brother as a backing singer/dancer is off putting
 

Italy / Måneskin - Zitti E Buoni (preview performance) – love, love, love this song. Italy never wins when they absolutely deserve to though. Has climbed with the bookmakers in recent weeks and spent most of Eurovision week at #1 with them. I have hopes for it. 
 

 Sweden / Tusse – Voices (Semi 1 performance) – really poo spot, between a song that is a definite top 3 and a song that the EBU is pinning its hopes on to push into the US. 
 

San Marino / Senhit (ft Flo Rida) – Adrenalina (Semi 2 performance) – So who is Flo Rida? Should we care? This will get votes for the star power and will probably encourage more washed-up singers and producers in the US to come to Eurovision. 

 

Current Bookmakers:

5: Ukraine

4: Switzerland

3: Malta

2: France

1: Italy

 

My winners and near winners

5: Ukraine – I fucking hate this piece of shit. Engima meets 90s trance though will have a market. 

4: Malta – good singer and good song, just has lost momentum

3: Iceland – meh, they would not be able to collect the award if they won anyway. Yay Corona... Get well soon guys

2: Italy – Though I want this to win, Finland will steal too many votes

1: France – There is little in the final of a close enough genre to steal votes and I think that will get it over the line

 

Current bookmakers: 5th 



Daði og Gagnamagnið is the brainchild of Daði Freyr Pétursson. The band Gagnamagnið (The Data) includes his wife, his sister and a three of his friends. They first went to Söngvakeppnin to be Iceland's Eurovision representative in 2017 and came second to Svala, who finished 15/18 in the Semi

Last year Daði og Gagnamagnið were the darlings of Eurovision and despite the event being cancelled, Think About Things has success in a number of countries in Europe. Daði og Gagnamagnið have gone from being tine 2020 favourites to being just one of the acts in 2021. There is nothing hugely different to 2020, it is probably just that some of the charm has worn off. Also the question is how they will perform the choral section from near the end within the rules of Eurovision.

Iceland used Söngvakeppnin to choose their performers for the first years they were competed in Eurovision and then after a break from 1995 to 1999, recommenced using Söngvakeppnin. From 1995 to 1999 (with the exception of 1998 when they were relegated), Iceland used internal selections which were not popular. Despite finishing 11th in 1996, a lot of Iceland was not interested in Anna Mjöll, other than the fact that she was well dressed compared with other singers in the contest

Current bookmakers:27th



Jendrik has a youtube channel with 3 songs and two of them are this years Eurovision song. The third song was uploaded 4 years ago. Other than studying Ukulele and staring in productions of a few musicals, his bio is a bit thin but the lack of youtube is more telling.

Ben Dolic in 2020 had a dance number for Eurovision. To be completely different Jendrik has something completely annoying and that sounds like it should be in a kids show. The video is worse than the song by itself. Germany can do annoying well, and Texas Lightning are a great example. This year is not. They should have stuck with Dolic.

Germany does not have a history of doing well at Eurovision, and often it is just the wrong song. In 1965 it appears the range went too low for Ulla Wiesner to sing comfortably live. The recordings she was fine, but live it was weak. Even still it should have got some points, but it didn’t.

Current bookmakers: 3rd



Gjon's Tears has a career tormented by the number 3. He finished 3rd in Ti Vlen (Albanians Got Talent), he missed the top ten in Die grössten Schweizer Talente being knocked out in the third semi final and in The Voice : la plus belle voix he got through the battle rounds only be knocked out in the Semi final again, which was the third week of eliminations. Currently many bookmakers have him sitting with the third highest odds to win Eurovision. It is a curse.

The 2021 song sounds a little the wanky part Radiohead, actually they both have a bit of Radiohead in them but 2021 moreso. Both are atmospheric songs which would display well on stage. Tout l'Univers is probably the better of the two songs. Will it win Eurovision though? No, it will come third.

Switzerland has come third in Eurovision 3 times officially. These were in 1961, 1993 and in 1982. This year will be their 4th third if it happens.

Current bookmakers: 8th



The Roop, as a name, comes from an archaic English word that means ‘to shout’. When The Roop attempted to go to Eurovision in 2018, it was rather Pitchy, which could be a homage to the name. Hopefully at Eurovision 2021 they choose to sing rather than shout.

It appears in the 2021 national selection performance/official video that lead singer, Vaidotas Valiukevičius, split his fly on his high waist pants, which is a risk of being a harry high pants. He would have confidence though because he was singing a stronger song than the song The Roop won Pabandom iš naujo! 2020 with. Both Songs feature Vaidotas Valiukevičius showing off how much control he has over his fingers. Yes, you can do ‘Live Long and Prosper’, that’s nice.

It is safe to say that Lithuania will get more points than they did in their first Eurovision, which was all the way back in 1994. After finishing with 0 points, which was a bit harsh, it took 5 years for Lithuania to return the Eurovision, and we are glad they did…

Current Bookmakers: 23rd



James Newman is a brit-award winning songwriter who has written a few number one songs in the UK and even had his vocals featured on a #1 song. I hope he is not the lyricist because if Embers is an example, 14 year old me assembled better word combinations in last minute desperation to complete English assignments. Particularly that second verse.

This song will probably fair better than last years song would have. Embers is more upbeat and possibly a little less lame than the chorus of My Last Breath. Everything else about My Last Breath is quite listenable and could be featured on a TV show. The UK has to have an outstanding song to do well at Eurovision though and neither of these songs is outstanding.

Once upon a time anything the UK sent to Eurovision would finish top ten, but then in 1959 there was only 11 countries and the song the UK sent was happy and cheery enough to not finish last.

Current Bookmakers:17th



Eden Alene won X Factor in 2017 and went on to be the lead singer of the Israel Defence Forces band before competing in HaShir HaBa L'Eurovizion in 2020. She is the first person to win HaShir HaBa L'Eurovizion and X Factor. She can sing which is more than one can expect form some singing show winners

Both the 2020 and 2021 songs have a 90s beat behind them. This year’s is a little Jamiroquai, so 70’s/90s, whereas 2020 was early 90s dance. There is appeal in both the songs and they fit in with Eurovision giving us the song of the summer. Both of these songs are better than the shit that won for Eurovision for Israel in 2018, but maybe they are too lounge bar for a Eurovision audience. Set Me Free will perform well though, both on stage and in the final results.

Eden likes wearing white for her Eurovision songs. In 1986 Israel wore so much white it looked like a tacky wedding, and it also kinda sounded like one. This deserved all its 7 points.

I have never been a fan of Ukraine’s Eurovision entries, but despite my disdain, they make it to the final every year. Other than their winning in 2016, I hated 2007 most, but everyone else seemed to love it.