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OMG. I think this is my last Eurovision Review...OMG it is!!! I can't believe it is finally done! I would say I am saving the best for last, but instead I am doing Son de Sol - "Brujería"

(unrelated lyrics of the day) Holiday in Spain - Counting crows
I may take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Drink my worries down the drain
And fly away to somewhere new

Drink Drink Drink... Drink until Eurovision is over and you cant remember a thing, I say... Anyway back to the Spanish entry. This is a typical annoying Latino song. INfact it sounds like one from an ad or something and it is annoying me because I cannot think of the chick latino song it sounds like.

It is annoying, it is latino, but hey it migh get up if politics doesn't get in the way. If it loses blame Iraq. otherwise vote Son de Sol - "Brujería"


lyrics )
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Slovenia have been in 11 Eurovisions prior to this year as an independant country. I don't know if the title of this years song though is meant to be a request.... Omar Naber - "Stop"

(unrelated song of the day) Song From Slovenia - James Durst
Winding out of Maribor on the road to Ljubljana
Flying past the mini-cars in our winged Americana
With a honk for roadside peasants and a prayer to some madonna
If you blink, you'll miss the mountain

Mountain, I think the missed the bloody boat... anyway back to Eurovision. I am watching the clip of thei song and I don't get the Ballet in ancle deep water. I dont get why the Slovene version of this song says "
Vsaj reci mi stop" (rough translation is at least say to me "stop" though the english lyrics are just "at least say stop") and I dont get the break it with bit with Guitars 2/3s of the way through.

again I wont dicount this song from winning. the version I heard was the Slovene version and maybe the English version comes across better, I dont know. whatever Omar Naber just "Stop" already


lyrics )
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Ireland have won more Eurovisions than any other country. 3 times it was the fault of Australia's Johnny Logan. Eurovision was also where Riverdance was unleashed on the world... and this years Eurovsion paid homage to that in their clip...Donna & Joe, "Love?"

(unrelated song of the day) Ireland - Tori Amos (only because she is in Perth ATM)
Drivin' in my Saab
On my way to Ireland
It's been a long time
It's been a long time
Drivin' with my friends
On my way to Ireland
It's been a long time
It's been a long time

I have always thought of tori amos as a little pretentious... anyway back to Eurovision. Joe is one of the younger entrants of Eurovision. the youngest Eurovision winner was 15 (apparently, there are rumours she was younger). Joe is only 17 and his sister donna is 20

this song is not a favourite entry by an means. most UK reviews I have heard say this song sucks. I don't know. I agree with most of the lyrics but I don't know about the rest. It might turn out to be number 8 for Ireland though, if Donna & Joe have enough "Love?"

lyrics )
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France last won Eurovision the year I was born, infact it was a few month before I came into existance. this year they have put all thier hope into Ortal, "Chacun pense à soi"

(unrelated Lyrics of the evening) Genius in France - Weird al Yankovic
I'm not the brightest crayon in the box
Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks
I barely even know how to put on my own pants
But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France

Just call it art and the French will love it, hey... anyway back to Ortal. it has a cool groove to it this song. I don't know how it translates in the engrish version, but I doubt anyone will ever hear that because the french always perform in french

Everyone hates the french though, so I doubt it will win... I would almost vote for it though... if I could... and if I could be arsed... Ortal, "Chacun pense à soi"... yeah OK

lyrics )
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Bosnia and Herzegovina have been in 10 Eurovisions prior to this year. You may remember the disco ball from hell Deen brought to last years Eurovision. This year Bosnia and Herzegovina have sent Feminnem, "Call me"

(unrelated lyrics of the day) Bosnia - The Cranberries
I would like to state my vision
Life was so unfair
We live in our secure surroundings
And people die out there
Bosnia was so unkind
Sarajevo changed my mind
And we all call out in despair
All the love we need isn’t there
And we all sing songs our rooms
Sarajevo erects an undertune

What ever happened to Herzegovina? No-one ever mentions Herzegovina. Anyway off the Cranberries and back to Eurovision shit. This song started me thinking of the teen Queens. It started off very "be my, be my, be my little baby" but then the song cut deeper with the obvious rip off of the ABBA sound and clips and the actual famous clips of Eurovision... infact I am sure thats the actual footage of the white knickers....

It is a fun song, but ABBA rip off never win, Just ask sweeden, they have been sending ABBA rip offs to Eurovision for most of the last 31 years. but for Feminnem to win you can "Call me" or someone who care... maybe one of the participating nations voting lines...

lyrics )
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This year is only Andorras second attept at the Eurovision crown and last year they didn't get past the semi-final (they finished 18th out of 22). this year they are hoping to better, but I doubt they will with Marie-An Van De Wal, "La mirada interior"

(unrelated lyrics of the day) The secret Diary of Adrian Mole Theme

I'm profoundly in love with Pandora
My poem has an intellectual theme
The tenderness with which I adore her
Goes all bouncy in my dreams

pandora, andorra, close enough... anyway back to Eurovision. the translated lyrics of this song are uplifting and nice. I will admit that when I saw the native title "La mirada interior" I thought "interior, what is going into the interior" but no it doesn't quite mean that....

Look this again has the same chance as the rest of the talentless morons to win Eurovision. I think it would be a nice song to get in the top 15, but thats about it. its not Like I can vote for Marie-An Van De Wal, "La mirada interior"

lyrics )
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It is bad enough in Eurovision all the voting has to be done in French and English, but to have so many songs sung in French too! I think it all sounds wanky, but I guess if it is the native language... anyway here is my review on Belgium, Nuno Resende, "The big night"

(unrelated song of the evening)  Bedlam in Belgium Acca Dacca (AC/DC to the uninitiated)
The blood in my veins
Was running right through my brain
There was a cop with a gun
Who was running around insane
Three fifty arrests
No bullet proof vest
Now ain't that a shame
We wanted to play
Play for the crowd
"No", said the wankers
"You're on your way out"
Bedlam in Belgium
Bedlam in Belgium

wank and Belgium seem to go together... even AC/DC think so. Anyway Back to Eurovision. If you like boring European balads, go this song. if not, well sucks to be you, don't watch Eurovision, or atleast avoid Nuno Resende, "The big night"

Belguim make great chocolate, but shit Eurovision Songs. Belguim have only won Eurovision once in 1986. this was back in the "all things french but not french is good" phase of the 80's (you may remember Celine Dion won for Switzerland 2 years later... or you might have blocked that out of your memory) anyway this years Eurovision entry shows that Begium should stick to chocolate. The big NIght out... yeah get out to avoid Nuno Resende


lyrics )
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Austria has had an interesting history in Eurovision. They have only won the once and that was in 1966. Udo Jürgens won with his third Eurovision attempt, so I think that was more out of pity letting him win, or was it to stop him torturing the rest of Europe. anyway this year they have given us Global.Kryner, "Así"

(unrelated lyrics of the day) "I am from Austria" by Fendich Rainhard
So wie dein Wasser talwärts rinnt,
unwiderstehlich und so hell,
fast wie die Tränen von an Kind,
wird auch mein Blut auf einmal schnell,
sag´ ich am End´ der Welt voll Stolz
und wenn ihr a wollt´s
auch ganz alla -
I am from Austria
I am from Austria

I understand some of that. Anyway back to Eurovision. there was massive controversy in sending this song to Eurovision. the more popular public choice was Alf Poiner, you may remember him form 2003 when he performed
Weil der Mensch zählt this song was apparently really funny but it so did not translate. despite tha fact Alf wasn't funny and wassn't any good, he would be better than what Austria are sending to Eurovision.

this song has a bit of a 1920s feel to it. I would say they are doing retro Eurovision but even Eurovision hasn't been around that long (thank God). I hate this song because I played clarinet for 2.5 years and this song has a clarinet in it and all clarinets should be destroyed.

I wouldn't be suprised if this song won anyway but I still hate it. Global.Kryner, "Así"


lyrics )
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On a nice lazy sunday I am sitting listening to a nice cruisy sunday afternnon dive-bar type song. It is a nice day to listen to Bulgaria's Kaffe, "Lorraine"

(unrelated song of the day) Riot at the sheepdog trials by N O'Flaherty and P O'Connel.
Nobody talks about Bulgaria on the news any more,
We started a riot at the sheepdog trials - we can take no more,
We started a riot at the sheepdog trials - we can take no more,
Nobody talks about Bulgaria on the news any more.
whatever... anyway back to Eurovsion. I like this song in a sleepy sunday kinda way. It is something to relax and have a beer too, which I will be doing in the Eurovision song contest drinking game anyway because it is a "Foreign acts sing in English". this song can also earn drinks for "The song goes up half an octave in the last refrain" and "Singers put excessive emotion into their singing"

This won have to potential to win if for no other reason it will get consisant votes rather than the more erratic voting the more popular countries with similar sounding songs will experience. this is just different enough and maybe just bad/good enough to win.

lyrics )
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I wonder is sertab has compyrited the turkish sound, if she had she would be making a mint this year wth the rip offs of that sounds in Eurovision and Cyprus is another. That was my immediate thoughs when listening to Constandinos Christoforou, "Ela Ela"

(unrelated song of the day) Cyprus Avenue by Van Morrison
And I’m caught one more time
Up on cyprus avenue
And I’m caught one more time
Up on cyprus avenue
And I’m conquered in a car seat
Not a thing that I can do
I may go crazy
Before that mansion on the hill
I may go crazy
Before that mansion on the hill

I may go crazy with all this Eurovision, But anyway, back to Cyprus' Eurovision entry. When I first heard the song I thought it was in Greek or something, then I found the lyrics (below) which are in english so I listened to the song again adn I found that yes indeed the song is sung in engrish

I like the "break it down" bit at the end of the song. other than that this is a pretty average pop song which might win Eurovision. the singer has been waxed to within an inch of his life as well which will at least differenciate him for the other acts (male and female) from his region of Europe

lyrics )
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FYR Macedonia is the country with the longest name in the Eurovision competition, thankfully the competition is limitted to songs of 3 minutes so they cannopt have the longest song with Martin Vucic, "Make my day"

(unrelated lyrics of the day) the macedonian national anthem
Desnes nad Makedonija se ragja
Novo sonce na slobodata,
Makedoncite se borat
Za svojte pravdini,
Makedoncite se borat
Za svojte pravdini,
yeah whatever.. back to Eurovision, this is another competitor for backing singers with the shortest skirts award actually the backing singeres are well dressed.. he is far to cas...

again this song has a twinge of the sertabs... there is a bit of a turkish should, though that just might be my speakers, it might actually be bag-pipes because the singers grand-father was a famous bag pipe player. whoever let bagpipes out of scotland should be shot. anyway is still doesn't make my day Martin Vucic.

lyrics )
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A coupe weeks ago I was thinking what country to do next. I asked my housemate and he said "do israel, everyone else has"... I am thinking it was a different israel though. so now I will do an actual review on Shiri Maimon, "Hasheket Shenish'ar"

(unrelated song of the day) Israel - The Bee Gees
Where there's sand
Where there's beautiful sand yeah
You know you got a kind of feeling
That's just grand
Take me into your arms
Let me be with you
Israel Israel Israel

I always thought all the Bee gees songs were crap, this goes to show they are... anyway back to Eurovision. I can see why she won the Israeli National final. she is a cute blonde chick wearing a low cut dress to show off aot of her cleavage.

She might have the assets to win Eurovision but  don't think she has the song... this is anoth Disney/Idol sounding song. but I will give her points for trying, really hard to squeeze into that dress...  Shiri Maimon, "Hasheket Shenish'ar"

lyrics )
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Seeing that greece is the most popular with the bookies, I thought I should listen to their entry and find out what was so good about them. so here are my thoughts on Helena Paparizou, "My number one"

(unrelated song of the evening) In the summer sun in Greece - A la Carte
In the summer sun of Greece
Dreaming under orange trees
In the summer sun of Greece
Dancing in the cooling breeze
There's no time for sorrow and for tears

cooling breeze, orange trees... thats fantastic... anyway back to Eurovision. This song is another pop-y rip off of Sertab, she is very popular to imitate this year. Give me more of that belly dancing beat I say.

The most popular song prior to Eurovision vary rarely wins, but who knows if this has a chance. maybe it is "My number one" for someone, just not me


lyrics )
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13 days to go and 14 countries left to review. ON of the countries I am yet to do is Lithuania... there is generally nothing much to say about Lithuania so I listened instead to Laura & The Lovers - "Little by little"

(unrelated Lyrics of the day) Luthuania II by Dan Bern
And then one day I went back to Lithuania
One day I went back to Lithuania
Flew into the capital, found a modern city
Lincoln town cars, cash machines, art galleries, McDonald's
And a big clock counting the seconds down
One by one to the millennium
Seventeen million seven oh three
Seventeen million seven oh two
Seventeen million seven oh one

That is an old song... obviously... So I guess I will talk about a newer song, this years Eurovision Entry. it is another 80's is sounding song. I kinda like it in a trashy sence... which is why I like Eurovision anyway there is something a little Thompson twins about this song, there is a bit of A-Ha and Duran Duran too... there is something else too, but I can't put a finger on it... it is really 80's though.

This song could have the potential to cause an upset. It might just be trashy enough to win, but I doubt it... It might have just a little too much talent... but then listening to it again... maybe not. I guess my opinion could be changed "little by little"... *sigh* Laura & The Lovers... well if Katrina and the waves can win with a comback single anything is possible

Whoo hoo... 2/3 of the way through now...

Lyrics )
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Moldova is another of those strange little countries left behind in the break up of the former USSR, and it is a stange little entry for Eurovision Zdob si Zdub - "Boonika Bate Toba"

(unrelated song of the day) Leaving for Moldovia - shane Macgowan/the pouges/the popes (demo/bootleg)

(I would insert the lyrics here but am yet to find them... when I will d I will edit this to include them)

OK this is possible the closest to last years swiggles that we are going to find. this could be a song for a kiddies show, I don't know. even the act looks like a kiddy group

Moldova dont have a history in Eurovision, and this wont be memorable for them at all. no points to them for Zdob si Zdub - "Boonika Bate Toba"

lyrics )
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Portugal have never won in the history of Eurovision, and though I doubt they are going to win this year either, I thought I would give them a try and find out if there was a hope, an no there isn't. but anyway I gave a chance to 2B - "Amar"

(unrelated Lyrics of the day) King of Portugal by Al Stewart
Dreamed I was the King of Portugal
In a big four poster bed
Noble tapestries from wall to wall
And a crown upon my head
Bells ring and servants bring
The jewels and the robes
For the night to begin

Why would you want Jewels and robes in your bedroom before the night begins? uless it if for some kinky roll play game or something. anyway back to Eurovision, this song sounds a little like M people but without the chic with the distinctive voice (she is a chic isn't she?) except that the song is half sung in Portugese. what is it with that this year anyway. a heap of the songs are sung half in one language and half in another and I for one, am finding it annoying.

This shoulc score well in Eurovision, But I doubt it will win. I guess it was never 2B :) "Amar"


Lyrics )
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Tonights song was brought to us from Russia with love, well actually with the hope of global domination thus boosting russia in the global economy. I bring you Natalia Podolskaya - "Nobody hurt no one"

(unrelated lyrics of the day) mother russia by Iron Maiden
Mother Russia poetry majestic
Tells the time of a great empire
Turning round the old man ponders
Reminiscing an age gone by

yes and age gone by, a time when russia and the USSR would send quality acts to Eurovision, now there is this. They searched through all of russia, high and low and day and nigth and they finally found her, they found what they were looking for, the Russian Avril lavigne clone

There was of course controversy with this song geting into Eurovision, but there is alway complaints from the people when their nation sends a crap act to Eurovivion. This song gets particularly repetitive near the end with the line "nobody hurt no-one"... no I wont hurt no-one... except one person... the one person cusing me pain... Natalia Podolskaya then Nobody hurt will  no one else....

Lyrics )
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You have to love the ethnenticity of Eurovision...is that even a word... infact is anything in the Turkish entries lyrics actually words. I don't know but I have just heard Gülseren - "Rimi rimi ley"

(unrelated song of the evening) Cold Turkey (various) Beatles
My eyes are wide open
Can’t get to sleep
One thing I’m sure of
I’m in at the deep freeze

Cold turkey has got me on the run
Cold turkey has got me on the run

I am sure the turkish should be offended by that, but I dont care. they should also be offended by their entry into Eurovision, I know I am. I know getting a bit of culture into you is a good thing and I know Turkey won 2 years ago with Sertab and a bit of turkish culture infused pop, but this year entry has too much culture and not enough pop. Maybe if they do the english version it wont sound as bad. yeah I know it sounds ignorant but really I cant stand this whiney nonsence

There are better acts in theis years Eurovision (yes that comes as a surprise to me too) and they have more chance to win than this does. next year maybe turkey should send in a frozen bird rather than Gülseren - "Rimi rimi ley"

Lyrics )
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I have been so waiting to do Norway, mainly for the unrelated song, but also because they paid out on Sweden so this review is for sweden, revenge on Norway, and they deserve all they can get for Wig Wam - "In my dreams"

(unrelated song of the night)  Kenya -  weebls-stuff
Where can you see lions
only in Kenya
come to Kenya we've got lions
Where can you see tigers
only in Kenya
got lions and tigers only in Kenya
Forget Norway

How can you forget Norway with a Eurovision song like this!!! Ok if you love 80's rock, and I love all things trash which is why I love Eurovision, you will love this song. It could be Poison, could be Def leppard it could be Bon Jovi. there is a bit of late Kiss in there too...

Wig wam are best described as a hard version of Roxette. They are like nothing else in Eurovision this year or for the past decade or so, and that might be just enough to give them a chance. as Wig Wam say "In my dreams"

Oh it is so much better doing this with Broadband....

lyrics )

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