I am a dung beetle.... constantly pushing shit around

Sheldon Riley has used every talent show he can to get to where he is including going to the US to compete in America's got talent. Marius Bear cut his teeth as a street musician and did what some would consider real work to get to where he is. He does have a smooth voice which shows you need some talent as well as perseverance

Though little is known about Marius, his voice speaks for itself. It is not a strong song but he carries it well. Sheldon also has a good voice and though more is known about him, he spent much of his career (attempts at fame) trying to disguise himself in a Sia like mask. He does not have the talent of Sia and though he is not vocally not that much worse than Marius, Marius relies on his voice whereas Sheldon relies on his drama, and this is a song contest. 

In the end though both songs contained a shock. Marius because with the title I expected a song more like Sheldon's. Sheldon's song is a shock that it won Australia Decides over Voyager. The bookmakers are probably wrong with this one

This round goes to Switzerland
 

Done and Dusted. 

Overall the show was good, the only way it could be improved is if a sniper had hit co-host Joel Creasey half way through the show, either that or he was not on the show to begin with. I would accept the later. 

So here is how Australia Decided

10. Jordan-Ravi - "Pushing Stars" (Jury 10, Public 10) - this was one of the most standard Eurovision songs of the night which was probably why it did not fair so well, that and the fact that Jordan-Ravi is practically unknown. It was a good son though and execution was fine and did not deserve to finish last. I hope Jordan-Ravi returns sometime soon

9. iOTA - "Life" (Jury 8, Public 9) - The performance lacked the intensity of the video and appeared to be a guy in sequins high on coke vaguely moving around a stage. Some of it seems choreographed and some of it was 'I don't care enough' and in the end Australia didn't care enough. Probably should have finished higher but it doesn't matter as it didn't deserve to win. 

8. Jack Vidgen - "I Am King I Am Queen" (Jury 7, Public 8) - This song was quite striped back and simple and there was a lot of space to fill with Jack's voice and he over-cooked it. He also co-wrote this song so he can probably write this up as a lesson as a writer. 

7. Diana Rouvas - "Can We Make Heaven" (Jury 6, Public 7) - Diana has an amazing voice but this was not a good enough vehicle for it. 

6. Jaguar Jonze - "Rabbit Hole" (Jury 9, Public 6) - Reading twitter after this song was performed, I was scared this was going to win so I bought pre-paid credit for my phone just to vote against it. I put most of those votes into Jordan-Ravi which didn't help in my cause, but fortunately Australia did not get behind this song as much as Twitter did. It is a good thing. This song is basically 'I am an evil narcissistic cunt, but it is not my fault, it is my PTSD'. If you are a cunt that is not PTSD, it is you. Jaguar found this song cathartic to write, but I found it traumatic to listen to, being the victim of narcissism myself. I think for every person who found this song a release, there was 2-3 that found it to be a trigger. I am glad this did not win.  

5. Mitch Tambo - "Together" (Jury 5, Public 5) - As a lefty I think the lefties got this song this high. TBH I barely even remember the performance from last night and I was sober. 

4. Didirri - "Raw Stuff" (Jury 4, Public 4) - This deserved to be top 5 and was probably one of the potentially best songs for Eurovision. It was a sleeper though. The song that creeps up hold you. Lyrically not fabulous but executed really well and was a true contender. Didirri can come back to Australia Decides in the future. 

3. Vanessa Amorosi - "Lessons of Love" (Jury 3, Public 3) - This song was an early favourite due to Australia's love of Amarosi, but a few wrong notes left this song at three. The first two choruses the first couple notes were missed and it did not sound great. At the end of the song Co-Host Creasey said that that was the biggest Car-crash on a Eurovision stage 'Since Madonna'. it was a reference to the intro where Vanessa was lying next to an upturned car made to look on fire and yes, it was on the autocue, but sometimes you have to go off script and that was one of those times. It was tasteless to run with that joke when it was obvious Vanessa did not nail it. Even the crowd on the Gold Coast thought it was cold, and not in a good way. It was not even funny, but Joel never is. 
Vanessa is still a legend, this was just not her best performance. Joel Creasey needs to go back to McDonalds

2. Casey Donovan - "Proud" (Jury 2, Public 1)  - The first time all evening that the public vote did not match the final result. This was an amazingly well executed song and Casey can sing. This is a Eurovision standard and if she went there would have been comparisons with Maltese legend Chiara (1998, 2005 and 2009), who has an equally big voice (though I think Casey's voice is better - not biased). Like Jordan-ravi though it may be too standard, but the audience loved it and it won the public vote by 7 points. 

1. Montaigne - "Don't break me" (Jury 1, Public 2) - wining the jury vote by 14 points, Montaigne won the night just 7 points over second place. I aligned more the the Jury and I am happy with this win, though there will be complaints. This was probably the most complete Eurovision performance though. There will probably be a slight costume change and maybe better use of the floor lighting and background images to highlight this performance. there will also need to get dangers who can do backing vocals and the backing vocals appeared to be on a backing tape last night. There will also need to be improvement on the camera angles, they need to be a little tighter, but there is 3 months to sort that out. 

GO Montaigne!!! 

Yesterday SBS bussed in a heap of school kids (or so it seems) to get an audience for the dress rehearsal of Australia decides so they could put the videos up on the SBS website. Voting has already opened for those who are keen. Generally this should be some great car crash telly. This is what to expect from the 10 car pile up.

Ella Hooper - I am pretty sure I have seen her outfit for sale in at Sexpo. This is an almost embarrassing performance as Ella tries to fill the stage. Think your drunk, newly single aunt at a family wedding trying to attract the attention of a much younger best man...

Electric Fields - This has a genuine energy. The performance fills the stage even when the vocals don't. The timing is interesting and I think this will appeal to an SBS audience

Mark Vincent - Hillsongers used to use a scarf when they appeared on 'Talent' shows so the other Hillsong parishioners knew who to vote for. Mark is wearing a scarf. His vocals are not to bad either. Most sound weaker in an empty stadium. He sounds stronger. Maybe he is used to empty arenas....

Aydan - The school girls love this, but will they vote? The camera framing is not favourable. He held the song together well until near the end so commendations for that. Where's the kaboom. There's supposed to be an Earth shattering Kaboom

Courtney Act - First real Performance. Thank fvck for the backing vocals that carried the chorus. Question is where are the vocalists. The full 6 people allowed on stage were used and no backing vocalists were amongst them. Popular with the paying spectators

Leea Nanos - The wildcard. It is a long time since Effie hosted the Eurovision telecast in Australia, but it is nice to see a homage to her hair. Coming after a performance, this falls into a hole. There is nothing terrible about it, it just lacks performance energy and that is highlighted by its place in the order.

Shepperd - some of the faults in this performance could be due to the half empty arena, but that is generous. The vocals need improving so much so that even Xena Warrior guitarist could not save this performance

Alfie Arcuri - This is looking like the weakest song in the event. Alfie still has his looks though.

Kate Miller-Heidke - I am not sure about the aerial performer behind Kate... Aerial performer or performer on an aerial... Either way when the beat drops the crowd loves it. With Mark Vincent being strong though, it will probably take votes from Kate.

Tania Doko - We started with an artist trying to recreate the fame they had in the 90s, and we finish at the same spot. I think Ella should have sung Tania's song. This does not have great execution, but it has backing dancers...

Eurovision decides is a 2.5 hour show. How? There are 10 three minute songs, that’s 30 minutes. Ads and gaps between the songs another 30. Pre-show, talking shit and voting another 30 then maybe 15 minutes for the announcement. How are they going to fill the other 45 minutes? Are they going to torture us with Joel Creasey talking shit that whole time?!

It saddens me that Joel Creasey is the sole representative from WA in the show. All of the song performers are from Queensland, New South Wales and Victoria. Even South Australia has a representative, but WA, no… Joel Creasey is enough to represent us. He does not represent us, he shames us

Anyways You can vote up to 20 times from one phone number and because SBS needs the money, vote and vote often.

Sheppard missed the memo that all Eurovision songs have to be under 3 minutes. It will be interesting to see the impact on the song when that 20 seconds is removed. I have always thought it is it not fair to the acts that produce a Eurovision ready song for national selections when they have to compete against songs that are not within the three minute limit. 

I have never understood this idea that a a love is on fire. I get that the writer is trying to say they are passionately in love but it just sounds like they have an STI. They don't need a ticket to Eurovision, they need a cream. "Its like I'm burning from inside out". OK maybe not an STI, it now sounds like indigestion, either way mate, see a doctor. 

It appears someone asked Kate Miller-Heidke to Write a Eurovision song, She asked "Whats a Eurovision song?". They then showed her a couple years of Eurovision and she wrote this. It is certainly a Eurovision song. Three minutes of epic popera. This is Eurovision to perfection and It is so Kate. The only use for this song other then Eurovision is space documentaries and b-grade sci-fi films, but it is mainly Eurovision.

This song could represent any Eastern European country. Fans of Czar, Elina Nechayeva, Jacques Houdek, Amaury Vassili and Il Volo would likely enjoy this, if it got to Eurovision. Can this win? Kate will go top 3 in Australia Decides. She will easily beat the other popera act and all the other 'talent' show contestants. Kate should get the judges vote, it will just depend on the public, who have called for Kate to represent us in Eurovision for years. Will they support her now? Who knows. Aussies are a fickle bunch. 

This is not a singalong song. This is not designed to sell a huge amount of units. It is a Kate Miller-Heidke song for Eurovision. It has every obnoxiously high note you expect as well as that slight hint of piss-take that she has been loved for from "Are you Fucking Kidding Me" to "I'm growing a beard Downstairs for Christmas". A seriously good singer with some seriously good songs (like "Caught in the crowd") and this is a serious contender. It wont win though because I like it. 

Out of all the songs in Australia Decides, This one appears to be the one that has been in the public domain the longest. The earliest clip appears to be from a show on the 2nd of November, which was 2 days before submissions for entries to Australia Decides closed. The chicks from Frangas seemed to loved the song and Frankston did give us Johnny Logan so they know a Eurovision star when they hear one. Maybe they will adopt the Moonee Ponds boy as one of their own. 

Aydan had his first shot at fame being the youngest member of the Young Talent Team In the short-lived Young Talent Time reboot in 2012. The following year he made it to the semi's in Australia's Got Talent. In 2017 he auditioned for The Voice and failed, but last year he tried again came forth. Aydan appears to be a perennial loser, so he should accept not winning Australia Decides. 

The song is fairly stock standard jazz pop which sounds too old for a 18 year old. Like Isaiah's Song in 2017 even if he can get the notes, he cannot get the song. It is something that should be sung by that other famous former Moonee Ponds resident. Not Dame Edna, original Young Talent Time's Tina Arena. There is an idea for next year...  Imagine Tina Arena doing this song. It would be amazing. As it is, it is not. 

Out of 700+ submissions made to SBS for Australia Decides, a 16 year old Greek-Australian 'Model' (she has been modelling for about 4 years according to her), 'Actress' (*raises eyebrow*), and 'Singer-songwriter' was the only new 'artist' they could find. She is not even that new. Leea had a blink and you will miss it appearance on X-Factor Australia Series 8 when she was 14. Leea has sun in front of Iggy Azelia her bio proudly proclaims. Yes, Iggy was an X-factor judge, lots of people have been heard by her. 

Besides overstating her qualifications, which is what CVs are meant to do after-all, Leea also claims a writing credit. I think that is fair, lyrically is does sound like a 16 year old wrote it. The hook isn't hooky which leave is sounding repetitive and largely formulaic. The "and leave me be' line is superfluous especially in the second stanza in the chorus. Technicalities will improve her 'songwriting' in the future. 

 If Leea performs before or after one of the bigger artists, her weaknesses could really be highlighted, but that is not her fault. I fear that she is surrounded by too many enablers who wont be honest. Finish school, love. Get your leavers certificate, get a qualification and maybe a job. have a wealth of experiences and then try to be a singer-songwriter. This event, with the little support you may get from it, may set yu up for a huge fall. I pity you more than anything Leea.

Band: Electric Fields
Song: Happy 2000 and Whatever
State of Origin: South Australia
Genre: Electronica
Label: OMP

Festival and Triple J darlings, Electric Fields have produced a song that is getting them some mainstream attention in Happy 2000 and Whatever. This song features English and the Pitjantjatjara Yankunytjatjara language, a language spoken by peoples who's lands lie just north of where the British did nuclear testing in the 1950's. It is Australian and international and it goes of with a bang.

A few online teasers have managed to sneak out for this song over the past few weeks, which is smart seeing Electric Fields don't have the same following as some of the other artists they are competing against. If Australia Decides was on Network 10, they would have been playing it all summer and put a Ten logo over the top of the song. Who knows how SBS is using the song or promoting Australia Decides because no one really watches SBS. 

This song is hands in the air spilling mixer drinks on the floor and losing your straw kind of music. If this song won I would be like, Yeah Whatever... and it could. Anything could, it is early days.

And so it begins.

Australia...
Previous entries: 1
Wins: Nil
First entry: 2015 Guy Sebastian - Tonight Again
Most recent entry: 2015 Guy Sebastian - Tonight Again
National Anthem: Advance Australia Fair

2016:

Dami Im - Sound of Silence.

I hate 'talent' show contestants, but I loved Dami on Australia's Got X-factor Idols (or whatever the show was). Everything that was put to her she would do but more than that, she seems so sweet and her new marriage (her husband was regularly in the audience) was played on a fair bit making her seem more than the one dimensional pop-star these shows usually create. She could also sing, which is a novelty in these shows.

I am fairly sure this song will be performed better at Eurovision than what the official version shows, the song is a bit crap though. It is obviously written by committee and the separately written parts are obvious. I also dislike songs which cannot use the natural rythm of the words and tries to force the words into the song. 'Silence', not 'si-Lence'.

On X-factor I was constantly surprised by the make-up and clothing decisions made for her on the show. If she gets the look right, she could win thins thing. The song is in the top 4 with the bookies atm so this entry could be an expensive exercise for SBS.

Austalia have only got one other Eurovision to look back on and though the result was not too shabby, it was another Idolist... Guy... The shame...