passionpop: (die bitch)
The Netherlands is sitting in the bottom half of the draw with the book makers with this years Eurovision entry. It is country crap. I am sure that there are people that like it but it puts me to sleep.



Artist: The Common Linnets
Song: Calm After the Storm

In the early Naughties, Though I was never prepared to pay for cable TV, I knew a few people with Foxtel. You could change the name of your channels to whatever you wanted so you knew what was on the channel. CMC (Country Music Channel) was changed to Country Crap by almost everyone I knew that had Foxtel. Country is not universally liked and this year there is too many acts with country vocals in Eurovision.

I will admit that I loved Texas Lightning when they were on Eurovision in 2006, but The Common Linnets are just too country and too boring and really only succeed in being a toilet break.

The three American writers involved with this song wont help it win. It needs something to make it interesting, like a streaker or something. If this qualifies for the final, it will just be there to make the numbers.

So last year The Netherlands sent a song called “Birds” to Eurovision and this year they send a group named after birds. It is all about flying and wings and stuff, like Denmark in 2000

passionpop: (die bitch)
Azerbaijan want to “Start a Fire”, which is a power ballad. The title is not to be confused with the tag line from when Azerbaijan hosted Eurovision in 2012 which was “Light your fire”. Azerbaijan is known as the “Land of Fire”, which is better than being in the ring of fire is guess. This song is not exactly on fire though



Artist: Dilara Kazimova
Song: Start a Fire

I have no idea what this song is meant to be about, but the lyrics are pretty and the music and vocals are nice. It is a pity that the singer can't use her pretty voice to sing the lyrics in anything but engrish. I needed the lyrics sheet to understand two of the stanzas in this song.

This song will probably go top ten. Azerbaijan always sits in the top ten . Since they started entering Eurovision in 2008, their lowest final position has been 8th, which is about where this is sitting with the bookies.

I generally dislike previous contestants from reality shows appearing in Eurovision, but Dilara is a current contestant in the Ukrainian version of The Voice (Voice of the Country). She is not even on the team of former Eurovision entrant Ani Lorak. If someone can translate Ukrainian, I would love to know how Dilara Kazimova (or as they say it in Ukrainian Діляра Кязімова) is going.

Dilara Kazimova attempted to represent Azerbaijan in Eurovision in 2010 as part of a duo called Milk and Kisses. They came second in the National final. Milk has been a winner though at Eurovision back in 1979 when Israel sent Gali Atari & Milk & Honey to sing “Hallelujah”

passionpop: (southpark)
Estonia will appear in Eurovision for the 20th time in 2014. This year they are sending a Russian born starlet who has tried to her hand at competitions and festivals in Russia, the Ukraine, Latvia and Estonia. I think Estonia are targeting the former soviet vote...



Artist: Tanja
Song: Amazing

Wow, this is retro. It sounds like it could have come out in the mid 1990's, late 1990's at best. I am yet to decide if that is a good thing. It is performed well but, wow, so retro.

The bookies are not really rating this song and I can understand that seeing it is aimed at the wrong side of Europe. After watching the live performance, I wonder if she was miming because if she was able to really sing while doing those dance movements then that is Amazing. If that will be something like her performance on the night, she will do better than the bookies think.

This is better than Estonia's 2003 attempt at retro but I don't think retro will win Eurovision. It should qualify for the final.

So from something sounding like it was from the 90's to something that was actually from the 90's. This Maltese song is only Amazing in that it past a national selection. It was evident in 1999 that the ability to sing was not a prerequisite for entering Eurovision.

passionpop: (completely)
Hungary has never won a Eurovision but they keep trying. They have sent some interesting songs like “Unsubstantial Blues” and “Kedvesem” and again this year they have sent an interesting entry.



Artist: András Kállay-Saunders
Song: Running

This song is in and out the top 5 with the bookmakers, but currently within the top ten, so it is certainly in the mix. He can carry the song live, but the presentation will matter. After last year though, I think Hungary understand good staging so this could go either way at the moment.

The cynic in me thinks that this song would seem more genuine if the money raised from it went to domestic violence charities and support. I guess in part that would be up to the EBU though.

András appears to be descended from royalty. His mothers side (Kállay) is a famous noble house and his father (Fernando Saunders) is a legendary American musician. Very regal there. So important are those names that he often drops his christian name and is well known as Kállay Saunders.

Estonia were not content with just the kid of someone who was entrenched in American music, they got Dave Benton who had himself performed with some American music legends. It paid dividends in 2001 winning them the contest.

passionpop: (die bitch)
Armenia are the hot favourite this year with an epic movie theme style ballad. Even as the odds lengthened recently after some inappropriate comments intended as humour, Armenia remained favourite. What's all the fuss, eh?



Artist: Aram MP3
Song: Not alone

The favourite doesn't always win, but usually does. The first hurdle is qualifying for the final. Angelica Agurbash who represented Belarus in 2005 didn't. Her song showed that you have to get the performance right. If you can't his a note from point blank range, you wont win.

France fluffed their chance in 2011 when they were favourite. Amauri Vassili had 'popping' issues in rehearsals from memory and that plausibly affected his live performance. Live could also kill Aram MP3. This is a really good song, and I think there is 10 artists in this years event who could carry it off better than he does. If any of them sung it I think it would win before the night has begun, With Aram singing, it might win... might.

The last country that was not at the high end of the economic scale that won Eurovision was Serbia in 2007. The rule in recent years is if you don't have oil you don't have Eurovision (Germany is probably the only exception but then they are the only country that can afford to buy the oil so they will have oil eventually). The three countries directly behind Armenia with the bookmakers are all connected to North Sea oil deposits. The question is, is Armenia slick enough to win without the oil.

In Spanish, 'Not Alone' is 'No estás solo', which also happens to be the name of the entry from Spain in 1987

passionpop: (putting my foot in it)
San Marino have never qualified for a final in Eurovision but you have to question whether they intend to. Are they only there to give Italy votes? If that's the case they are failing because they average around 8 points per Eurovision for Italy with only 4 points granted to Italy last year. That's cause for trade embargoes or something isn't it.



Artist: Valentina Monetta
Song: Maybe (Forse)

Poor little San Marino. Not only is it land locked by Italy on all sides, but this nation of 61km² appears to only have one singer. She has appeared in more than half of San Marino's entries into Eurovision, and here she is again for the third time in a row, Valentina Monetta

The first time she went to Eurovision in 2012, the song was dire. In 2013 she returned and the song was good and is showed how professional she was to have sung that steaming pile of crap in 2012. Her 2013 entry deserved to qualify for the final, but sadly did not. This years song is not as good as 2013 but it is better than 2012 at least.

Valentina has confirmed that she will not be returning in 2015, which is a mixed blessing. What will San Marino do? Who will they send? Maybe they will withdraw. Poor little San Marino

Who lets gingers into Eurovision anyway. Bottle or not, no one likes a ginger... except Ireland. Who sent this one twice. The first time was in 1984

passionpop: (die bitch)
Ukraine are a top ten favourite this year and they should qualify for the final, they always do. The politics may have an effect on the voting with the west possibly giving votes in lieu of Russia, kinda like money into the country now and during the Orange Revolution. There is no Politics in Eurovision though



Artist: Mariya Yaremchuk
Song: Tick-Tock

Ukraine have sent a Rhianna clone to Eurovision in 2014. She is a better vocalist than Rhianna, but then two cats fvcking are better vocalists than Rhianna. If she nails this on the night, it will do very well and could go top 5.

The live performance doesn't appear to have the whistling, however I can understand the addition. They want the singer to be sexy for the event and a pucker whistle can add to that.

It is a popular genre, but not one that I like. I appreciate that people like this and that popularity will get this song far.

If they go with the whistling as in the promo clip, they wont be alone with whistling this year. Historically the United Kingdom has also had a little whistle back in 1959. I can't believe it took until 1982 for France to say that Eurovision songs were mediocre...

passionpop: (subliminal)
Portugal have not only never won a Eurovision, but they have never finished in the top 5. The Highest Portugal has got has been 6th in 1996. This year doesn't have a chance to get even that.



Artist: Suzy
Song: Quero Ser Tua

Parts of this song sound like they are lifted straight from Lambada and just sped it up slightly. Lambada was largely lifted from other sources too, but it came out good. This isn't great

I think what is the most distracting about this clip is that the beating on the fake drums appears to have been picked up on the mic. Also her dress is certainly a LITTLE black dress. It is so short that you can tell that she is not a natural blonde. If she wears the same dress at Eurovision, then it is a drink for exposed bits. Smashing.

Suzy has had a few poor performances of this song from what I understand, but then there have been some good ones. If she doesn't smash it on the semi, this may not even qualify. If she does, it still wont win the final

Even if she wears this very short LBD on the night it will not be the shorted dress ever on the Eurovision stage. There are much shorter like the Ukraine's effort in 2009. Is that even classifiable as a dress?

passionpop: (die bitch)
Russia have decided to send an act with a history of winning Eurovision, however it was actually Junior Eurovision. I wonder if they will be wearing the same dresses they wore when they were 9. It may sound too short for 17 year olds, but this is Eurovision.



Artists: Tolmachevy Sisters
Song: Shine

The Tolmachevy Sisters have appeared on an actual Eurovision stage back in 2009 in the opening of the contest in Russia. It is possibly good that they have never sung at Eurovision before because if this song is anything to go by, it would not have been great.

I don't think much of this song. It is best described as average and is a potential toilet break. It is possibly the most depressing sounding song with a title of 'Shine' ever written. I just hope they do something interesting on the night or that by the time they perform at number 7 that it is time to break the seal.

I think that the political situation that Russia is in at the moment though will lose them votes. They will still still qualify because they do still have friends that they paid in advance for, but they wont win. The bookies have them just out of the top ten which is generous.

Only two other performers from JESC have made it to ESC. Nevena Božović came third in JESC in 2007 and in 2013 appeared as part of Moje 3 for Serbia. The first to make the leap was one part of Poland’s KWADro, Weronika Bochat who in 2010 did the only thing a JESC contestant is qualified for, she performed as a backing singer

passionpop: (drunk)
Sweden is a favourite this year and if they win it will be their sixth gong, still one behind Ireland but very impressive. They are also sending a artist who has attempted to be Sweden's representative 7 times. All big numbers in Eurovision, but the only big numbers that matter are on stage



Artist: Sanna Neilson
Song: Undo

Though this is Sanna's first time to the Eurovision song contest, she was tantalizingly close to going in 2008 when she came second in Melodifestivalen (Sweden's National Selection) with 'Empty Room'. That song was also a break-up ballad. The difference this time is that one of the writers is someone who has worked with Britney Spears, The Back Street Boys and Westlife. Sweden hopes the big names will help them

I guess the song is nice. It doesn't feel like it goes anywhere, which may be the point. She wants to go, she should go, but she never will. Also is that the heartbeat sound featured in this song? Surely Germany or someone has copyright on that.

I think by the end of the night everyone will be fed up with hearing 'ah-ah-ahn do myself', which sounds wrong when written like that. Being a favourite though, that line would be heard a fair bit and might get too annoying by the time voting comes around in the final. It may work the other way too though and stick in peoples mind like a good hook does.

Big name producers, writers and composers who have worked with the big pop acts often don't help a Eurovision act. Russia went to the trouble of importing help that worked for Lady Gaga and ended up with this

passionpop: (southpark)
Latvia is known for sending some pretty out there performances to Eurovision, and this year is no exception. I usually love Lavia, but this year I am not so sure.



Artist: Aarzemnieki
Song: Cake to Bake

I just want to know if this song is just a giant euphemism for a virgin trying to get someone pregnant. 'Cake to bake' is like 'bun in the oven', right? Maybe I am reading too much into the chorus:
I've got a cake to bake – I’ve got no clue at all (cep, cep, cep, cep, cep kuuku)
I've got a cake to bake – and haven't done that before (cep, cep, cep, cep, cep kuuku)
don't be proud, mate please don't bother,
go, come on and ask your mother,
how to bake, how to bake, bake that cake...

Maybe I am reading too much into the song because really it could be about anything. It is a song that mentioned Atlantis, the lost Arc, the 'Chinese Wall' and it references Sherlock, and that's just in the first verse. It is like someone decided to see how many cultural references they could stick in the one song. It is the European 'Happy Birthday Helen'.

This song could be fun when performed at Eurovision, Latvia usually is. I don't think it will qualify for the final and the bookmakers rate it a snowballs chance in hell, but it is a nice try. Thanks Latvia... NEXT!

Aarzemniek is Latvian for foreigner, and lots of countries get foreigners to perform for them. Anna Vissi is better known for representing Greece than her home country of Cyprus, maybe because she has represented Greece twice, the first being in 1980

passionpop: (putting my foot in it)
Albania have gone to Eurovision ten times prior to this year. The best Albania has finished was 5th, with possibly one of the most amazing vocals ever seen at Eurovision, it was also one of the weirdest outfit and hairdo combos ever put on the Eurovision stage as well. Comparatively this year is rather normal.



Artist: Hersi
Song: One Night's Anger

The vocal styling is interesting. It is somewhere between Celine Dion and a country princess. She lists Celine Dion as one of her musical influences, I doubt she will do well as Celine did In Eurovision though. There might be some Kate Bush in there too, all the worst bits about her. Listening to the live version it is all Celine.

Some reviews call this song incomplete, and I agree it needs a bigger sound to be noticed at Eurovision. I am calling this song a toilet break

I read her bio and wondered if something was lost in translation in the line 'In 2010 she ranked first in the musical contest “Ars Kosova”.'

It is the little country twang in parts of this song that remind me of the first country band to compete in Eurovision. The year was 2006, the Country was Germany and the band will go down in history.

passionpop: (drunk)
Montenegro has a perfect record in Eurovision. In 5 attempts they have perfectly managed to not qualify every time. This year they have decided to out Eurovision the old hands at Eurovision with plausibly their best Eurovision entry yet.



Artist: Sergej Ćetković
Song: Moj Svijet

The only fault I feel with this song is that is sounds like it was meant to be a 4 minute epic ballad and it was cut short to fit into Eurovision's 3 minute maximum. The song kinds stops at the end as it leads to another chorus. Even if it had another chorus though, I probably wouldn't care for it. I am the Grumpy Cat of Eurovision.

Other then the songs abrupt end at the 3 minute mark, there also feels like there was a couple of other edits. It it still a pretty ballad. I just don't like pretty. The video is beautiful too. I don't like that either

The interesting this is that the national presentation of this song was not a live performance, but the playing of this clip, which makes one wonder if he can sing live. Anything that even sounds like vocals on the backing recording are a breach of the rules so he better be able to sing.

In 2007 another song went to Eurovision with a remarkably similar name to this one, actually the translate to about the same thing. It was “Мојот свет”(Mojot svet) from Macedonia.

passionpop: (die bitch)
Belgium have only won one Eurovision ever, and it is sad to think a 13 year old girl did better than every adult they have ever sent to Eurovision. After only qualifying for the final 3 times in the last decade, this year they have one of the favourites which is predicted to be at least top 10.


Artist: Axel Hirsoux
Song: Mother

This song is pretty. I don't like pretty. Pretty will do pretty good though, if he nails it on the night. He should if reputation is anything to go by. I can hear Statler and Waldorf now...
Waldorf: I hear this guy is pretty big in Belgium
Statler: He is pretty big where ever he is
Statler & Waldorf: hohohoho...

I read the following in the bio “It is probably not a number you would expect to hear at the Eurovision Song Contest, but in Axel's view the universal message of Mother is in fact very suitable for the festival”. This is the third song to the mum in the last decade, the other two coming from Belarus and Russia. The Belarussian one was upbeat, but the Russian one was a ballad. OK this is the first one sung by a guy, but seriously, do the bio writers not know the recent history of the contest? Even if they don't can't they use Google?

I just can't care less for this song, I can't give the proverbial shit about it. Because I don't care for it, it will probably win going by recent history. Stupid Europeans and their stupid taste in music.

So in recent years we have been singing to Mothers, though previously we have sung to children. I have been torn which song about children to to, but I have stuck with France's co-winner from 1969.

passionpop: (big)
Iceland have been hanging around Eurovision for almost 3 decades with no success. Their best effort was in 2009  where they came second with a song that was so perfect for Eurovision that in any other year it would have won. The last 6 years Iceland has qualified for the final every time, understandable with songs like “Je ne sais quoi" and "Ég á líf". This year sees a slight departure from the Eurovision standard, so will it be successful?



Artist: Pollapönk
Song: No Prejudice

“Pollaönk was founded by two teacher’s who wanted to make music that appealed to both children and adults a like that the whole family could enjoy together”, so they are like The Wiggles, just less annoying to adults. The Wiggles with beards.

This song is so annoyingly catchy and fun. Listen to it twice and try to not sing along the second time. You will either love it or shoot yourself in the head to avoid it, but you can't hate it.

I would love Iceland to win and host a Eurovision. I know they wont do it with this song but imagine the event. It would have to be held in Reykjavík because any other town in in Iceland would be doubled in population when Eurovision comes to town. Imagine it though, and imagine if a volcano started to erupt soon before the event so no one could fly there.

The Wiggles style is not new to Eurovision. It failed to qualify for the final when Piero and the Musicstars tried it for Switzerland in 2003. I hope Iceland will do better.

passionpop: (subliminal)

Moldova is the country that Zdob şi Zdub (twice) and Epic Sax Guy. More recently Moldova has decided to start taking Eurovision seriously. This year they are so serious they are sending what could almost be a James Bond theme.


Artist: Cristina Scarlat
Song: Wild Soul

I was reading the info on the song from Eurovision.tv thinking 'surely someone edits this crap before it is posted and removes the engrish'. Apparently not because "Cristina gained a great experience by competing and winning prises in a wide range of festivals" and as for the composer "Ivan started to write music already as a teenager"

This is not a good song to start that adventure of the 2014 song contest with. it is not a particularly good song at all. I don't know if that is the fault of the lyricist (who incidentally is the singers niece) or the engrish or that I really hate that lofty bit at the end of the chorus. I feared that section would be the greatest flaw on the night, but a live version shows she cant do the low bits. maybe Mercy is what she is hoping for in May.

So I googled the lyrics and not I understand them and wow, this song is a pile of wank. The vocals show that this song could be a complete train wreck. this could be the wankiest train wreck in Eurovision history. I love Schadenfreude so I am looking forward to this song on the night.

If you want to do a crap James bond theme, You need to look at Belarus from 2007

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