passionpop: (my ass)
possible spoiler )

realistically though, if you are not in the top 4 in the semi, you wont do well in the final. it is rare to win when you did not finish first in your final. it can be done, 'Wild Dancers' and 'Running Scared' finished second in their respective semis and won. 'Believe' won from third in the semi in 2008. generally you need to win your semi.

I would really like to see the jury v televote results. but at the moment. there has been the question of if the first semi had the right amount of neighbour countries. some think neighbour voting it ruining Eurovision. the truth is though that if you dont qualify now, you wont win in the final if the semis are stacked better anyways. is it better to allow neighbours to stack themselves in the final so they have to spread their votes amongst more neighbours. this means that the non-aligned countries that do qualify for the final have a better chance to win.

there were heaps of countries I wanted to see qualify, namely Croatia (13th) and Latvia (17th) but if they couldn't get the votes to get out of the semi, they would not have got enough votes to win and what is the use of going into the final if you don't win? if you are not competing in the final, you can get drunk all night so win-win.

not like much of Eurovision is a win, but anyways

passionpop: (subliminal)

the following songs failed to qualify from the second Eurovision Semi final. I am very disappointed Europe, very disappointed indeed. My favourite didn't get through.

spoilers )

passionpop: (completely)

Semi 2 is this Thursday and dress rehearsals have been competed. this is a quick rundown of what to expect from the second semi

Latvia: More than enough cheese to please. what a way to start, Glittery suits and a keytar.. A KEYTAR!!! love it
San Marino: maybe they are meant to be wings, maybe they are meant to be extreme tuck shop lady arms
FYR Macedonia: this is really beginning to stand out as a toilet break
Azerbaijan: dude in a box.
Finland: the background comes across as brighter than the song... which isn't hard
Malta: for the Karaoke fans, the background is providing the lyrics.
Bulgaria: if yo are going to use a drum on a Eurovision stage, grandma needs to bang it, not a mullet man
Iceland: He has such pretty long hair. Women and 80's rock bands should be jealous
Greece: well... we couldn't really expect a mass of stage props, Greece can't afford that much
Israel: she is still torturing the same dress she wore in the official clip
Armenia: this is on fire...
Hungary: the Burton-esque images from the clip appear in the background which appears to be the most interesting thing about this performance
Norway: this is the favourite from this semi. there is lots of lights.
Albania: out of the bands, this is possibly the best presented. awesome background
Georgia: thats a fairly expensive looking dress. i don't get the hips. smoke and cliches
Switzerland: so thats how you avoid any emblems of the Salvation Army and still look like a Salvation Army band
Romania: oh my...

passionpop: (southpark)
Country: Finland

Debut: 1961
Previous Appearances: 46
Wins: 1 (2006 – Lordi 'Hard Rock Hallelujah')

Artist: Krista Siegfrids
Song: Marry Me

I think it is kind of appropriate that at the start of the clip you see she lives in a trailer. This is he trash anthem of a new generation.

I cant help thinking that the singer is a psychotic Pink, if there is a difference. If I saw someone walking down the street singing this song, I would slap them, partially for fun but partially because they would be asking for it.

Even though this song is everything hat is wrong with the younger generation of women, It will probably qualify and do quite well. Stupid bints.

If this make it to the final, it will just another thing that will make it a Hullu yö

passionpop: (die bitch)
Country: Latvia

Debut: 2000
Previous Appearances: 13
Wins: 1 (2002 – Marie N 'I Wanna')

Artist: PeR
Song: Here We Go

Oh, they have a keytar, they should qualify for the final just for that. Ralph (the lead singer) should wear a shirt because he is not exactly ripped, but the keytar makes up for that.

I think they try to sound a little to 1990's post Take That Robbie Williams. Everything about the song screams 1990's, the outfits though are from another era, perhaps the 1970s

the Band is quoted as saying about Eurovision that 'the contest is getting more cheesy and cheesy every year.' and they are proof of that, but they are fun. They are almost fun enough, in a Jedward kind of way, to qualify. The bookies give them a snowballs chance in hell, but I give them a little more than that. They will qualify at least.

it is never Too Much

passionpop: (die bitch)
Country: Armenia

Debut: 2006
Previous Appearances: 6
Wins: 0

Artist: Dorians
Song: Lonely Planet

The lead singer of this band has The Most Awesome Eyebrows In The World. Gor Sujyan should get a postcode registered for those eyebrows because they take up so much real estate.

This is easy listening radio rock. It is maybe ¼ of a step above Nickleback.the song is mostly harmless, as a song and to the competition.

The bookies rate this as a qualifier for the final and I will give them that. For a song named after travel books, it isn't awful. Not fantastic, but not awful.

Can this go off with a bang on the night? Boom Boom?

passionpop: (die bitch)
Country: Azerbaijan

Debut: 2008
Previous Appearances: 5
Wins: 1 (2011 – Ell and Nikki 'Running Scared')

Artist: Farid Mammadov
Song: Hold Me

Oooo Eastern Eurpean semi-power ballad. I can never get enough of these.... yes I am being sarcastic. Damn Eurovision clichès

This is a cliché eurovision style that is sung by a pretty young boy (21) and it really does nothing for me except remind me that it is time for a toilet break. Thankyou Azerbaijan for allowing me to break the seal at song 4 in the second Semi.

This star of the Azeri version of The Voice is expected by the bookies to qualify. That's great, I like the idea of an extra toilet break in the final.

Eurovision claims to be the best music in Europe. Sometimes that may be the case, but not Always

passionpop: (dead)
Country: Hungary

Debut: 1994
Previous Appearances: 10
Wins: 0

Artist: ByeAlex
Song: Kedvesem

If Tim Burton wrote a lullaby for adults in Hungarian, I think this is what it would be. Not quite as interesting as it sounds, but I like the clip.

It is cute and lovely and sweet but the male vocal makes it sound dark and feels wrong. The title means 'Darling', and Darling, I think this will struggle.

The bookies don't rate it which might be harsh, but is the reality of Eurovision. There can be only one, and only 10 from the semi of 17

Most years at Eurovision I ask of Hungary Miért kell, hogy elmenj?

passionpop: (drunk)
Country: Albania

Debut: 2004
Previous Appearances: 9

Artist: Adrian Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko
Song: Identitet

A bit of Ethno-rock at Eurovision, there's something I didn't expect...

OK, this isn't bad, it is better than anything Bon Jovi has released in the last decade, but they have gone crap. At least the singer has a law degree to fall back on.

Albania is one of those countries that has to be better than good just to qualify, and really brilliant and interesting to win. This may be lucky to qualify

and to finish, The Image of You

passionpop: (die bitch)
Country: Greece

Debut: 1974
Previous Appearances: 33
Wins: 1 (2005 – Helena Paparizou 'My Number One')

Artist: Koza Mostra & Agathon Iakovidis
Song: Alcohol is Free

Lets face it, Greece wont win because they cannot afford to host a children’s tea party so forget eurovision, but I want this song to qualify for the final because it is fun.

The Alcohol has to be free in Greece because no one could buy it, except the politicians. Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol is free! You can sing any words in a ska song and it would still found fun. Try Murderous, murderous, knife wielding man in ska. See still fun!

The Bookies think this should qualify and so do I, but then who cares what I think so long as the Alcohol is free.

Ok thats it, time to Stop

passionpop: (die bitch)
Country: Switzerland

Debut: 1956
Previous Appearances: 53
Wins: 2 (1956 - Lys Assia 'Refrain', 1988 – Céline Dion 'Ne partez pas sans moi')

Artist: Takasa
Song: You And Me

This song sounds like it should be advertising a car, not a car like the one in the clip, I can hear this as a Holden (Opel) ad. That’s what you get when you let the Salvation Army into Eurovision

More power to Emil Ramsauer, the bassist in this act. At 95 (if he survives until the contest) he will be the oldest person to perform on the Eurovision stage. That is a definite plus for Takasa

This will probably qualify and the bookies agree this is a probably song. I don't mind the Christians getting in, so long as I can corrupt Christoph Jakob (that’s the blonde one isn't it?... reow!)

And when the contest is over, Nous aurons demain

passionpop: (my ass)
Country: Norway

Debut: 1960
Previous Appearances: 51
Wins: 3 (1985 – Bobbysocks 'La Det Swinge', 1995 - Secret Garden 'Nocturine', 2009 - Alexander Rybak 'Fairytale')

Artist: Margaret Berger
Song: I Feed You My Love

I can understand why this is a favourite. It is a stand out single. It is different enough from anything else to win.

Though the lyrics are a bit 'what tha...?' and her engrish doesn't start off great, This song could damn well go all the way. There is competition for first place this year, real competition.

The only thing going against this is that it doesn't have a violin. The last two songs Norway sent to Eurovision prominently featured a violin and their only other win was back in the days of the orchestra so it had a violin by default. Can Norway win without a violin? we will soon see.

This style of music isn't strictly new, not ever for Eurovision, but then Intet er nytt under solen

passionpop: (my ass)
Country: San Marino

Debut: 2008
Previous Appearances: 3
Wins: 0

Artist: Valentina Monetta
Song: Crisalide

Last year Ralph Siegel provided possibly the worst song ever written to San Marino, but Valentina Monetta presented it on the night professionally, despite how dire it was, and got San Marino's best ever result in Eurovision, 14th in their semi final, and their second highest ever amount of points. This year, he's back and she's back with something a little better, because nothing could ever be that god-awful.

This song is set up for the big reveal about 2 minutes in. I fully expect that the last minute of the song will see Valentina in a different outfit, this wont improve the song though.

I don't want to criticise this song or the artist too much though because, well because the San Marinese singer has a Calabrese father. Lets just say it is a borderline qualifier.

You know what they said about last years song, The Social Network Song? OH OH - Uh - OH OH

passionpop: (die bitch)
Country: Republic of Macedonia

Debut: 1998
Previous Appearances: 12
Wins: 0

Artist: Esma & Lozano
Song: Pred Da Se Razdeni

What do you do with a dancing with the stars set when the stars have gone? record Eurovision clips there.

You know what this song needs, a reveal. A mid-song costume change, a coming out of the darkness into the light. It wants to be a dancefloor hit, but something is missing. Maybe my subby isn't working (*kicks subby*) because it is like the beat is missing.

They say it is not over until the fat lady sings, so this song is over about 1 minute in. that’s good. We need another toilet break

If they could make this performance entertaining it would Make My Day

passionpop: (putting my foot in it)
Country: Israel

Debut: 1973
Previous Appearances: 36
Wins: 3 (1978 - Izhar Cohen & the Alphabeta 'A-Ba-Ni-Bi', 1979 - Gali Atari & Milk and Honey 'Hallelujah', 1998 – Dana International 'Diva')

Artist: Moran Mazor
Song: Rak Bishvilo

This is just another nondescript ballad that sounds nice but really is just a toilet break.

I have to make the observation that she has put on a couple of kilos since her promo pictures and possibly between buying her dress and doing the performance that makes the clip. She still had the courage to wear the dress though so kudos there. I hope her boobs were taped in

The bookies don't care for this song and neither do I. It will be hard pressed to qualify for the final and even if it does, it wont do much.

In regards to this years act, I doubt anyone would want to say 'Natati La Khayay'

passionpop: (big)
Country: Georgia

Debut: 2007
Previous Appearances: 5
Wins: 0

Artist: Nodi Tatishvili & Sophie Gelovani
Song: Waterfall

Is it just me or is Sophie trying to be a MILF? And Nodi, in a couple of shots he looks like an older version of Ell from Azerbaijan's 2011 entry. Georgia wouldn't try to subtly try to copy a previous winner would they?

I don't mean to be critical, but just a question about the lyric 'You're love is pouring down on me, you're my Waterfall'. Have they ever stood in a waterfall. Like a real waterfall and not the ones they use in commercials. It is not like standing in a shower, it is more like being pummelled with water. It is not beautiful, is like a deep tissue massage. Less loving more painful. Not a good image for a love song

This is one of the better songs Georgia has sent to Eurovision and should qualify which is good because it means there will be a toilet break in the final.

Who knows, this year Georgia may Shine

passionpop: (drunk)
Country: Bulgaria

Debut: 2005
Previous Appearances: 8
Wins: 0

Artist: Elitsa Todorova, Stoyan Yankulov
Song: Samo Shampioni

Only Champions, well they weren't last time they went to Eurovision, though they are the highest finishing act that Bulgaria has ever sent to Eurovision and the only one to ever make the final. I guess that makes them Champions by Bulgarian standards.

This song doesn't hurt my ears as much as the last one did, and though some things have changed, other have remarkably stayed the same. Stoyan's hair is amazing. It appears he found a hairstyle somewhere in the 1980's and has persevered with it through all kinds of fashions ever since never changing that hair style. I am impressed

This song is a bit of fun ethno-pop. I don't find it too disagreeable and I hoe this qualifies for the final.

As for the last song, it sounds like it was sung by an unwanted kitten. It should be drowned. Give me a bucket of Water.

passionpop: (subliminal)
Country: Romania

Debut: 1994
Previous Appearances: 14
Wins: 0

Artist: Cesar
Song: It's My Life

For years Romania has sent interesting and promising performers to Eurovision with the hope of wining with no success. This year.... dear god.

Ok he has an amazing vocal range, but thats it, that is the only redeeming feature of this song. It started out horrifying and it didn't improve, instead it somehow got worse! How is that Romania, how can you send something do dire?

Popera is so 20 years ago and this isn't even good popera, how did the Romanian people let this out to represent them? It makes me cry. Crap can qualify for the final though and here's proof

can we remove this from the face of the earth and send it to to The Moon...

passionpop: (die bitch)

Country: Malta

Debut: 1971
Previous Appearances: 25
Wins: 0

Artist: Gianluca
Song: Tomorrow

To start 2013 I have found the most annoying ear worm encouraging geeks to stalk women. Well that's all I got out of the song anyways. 'Its time to follow her tomorrow'... seriously, that's a little creepy.

Talking about creepy, the singer is appears to be an evangelist style christian complete with the shit eating smile they always seem to wear. whats with that? go back to your prayer group son, and take your face with you. gah! I just want to punch him.

Other than the stalkeriness of the lyrics and the shit eating smile of the singer... oh and that it features a ukelele and I hate ukeleles... but other than that the song is reasonably inoffensive. if the ukelele is smashed over the face of the singer in the performance, I would vote for it. the only other positive about the song is the actor in the clip because he wears a bow tie and bow ties are cool.

Malta likes to be annoying. 1975 was the first time they didn't finish last Singing this Song


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