Eurovision Final Preview

[passionpop]

The competitors have been determined and the running order has been decided by the Broadcaster SVT and European Musics Night of Nights is almost here. here are my final thoughts on the 26 acts...

France I am beginning to think that in the interval act in the first semi, that wasn't fake snow... it was cocaine... and France smoked it all before their rehearsal. Though I like this song I think it would have been forgotten by the time the voting starts
Lithuania Though he qualifies as being cute, looks and a big smile can only get you so far if you are not planning on using your mouth for better purposes and I am not sure singing is a better purpose for him
Moldova the used tampon that turned out to be a lava lamp. this is our first toilet break
Finland OK, it is not a #1 break, it is a #2 break because this song is shit.
Spain BDSM... sorry ESDM (not even close really) and we are up to our third female singer dressed in white... already. This is NOT a contender
Belgium The youngest entrant in this years Eurovision... officially at 18, though we think he is younger... though no one from Belgium would lie about their age to enter Eurovision...
Estonia There are really fun and classy outfits you can wear when you are pregnant and Estonia chooses to wear a tent...
Belarus she is trying so very hard to have a wardrobe malfunction. She needs at least another row of tassels because no one wants to see her breakfast
Malta He will be regretting this tomorrow. toilet break
Russia They are liking the long toilet breaks this year. more shit!
Germany this song has been criticised for sounding too much like last years winner, the difference is Loreen put on a performance last year. Less Glorious more Boring Us
Armenia this is just making up the numbers really. Less Rock more Mock
The Netherlands I hope this is performed better than in the Semi because I really like this song
Romania this only qualifies for more drinks in the Eurovision drinking game... loud obnoxious sounds being emitted from the singer... yes please!
United Kingdom I don't believe in Bonnie. for her this song is great because it helped promote her album, for the BBC it will achieve nothing.
Sweden lets get a rather androgynous singer named Robin... the song will be popular in the arena, but not as popular outside of it.
Hungary he is so much of a hipster I am surprised he is still alive, surely breathing is too mainstream for him.
Denmark the favourite. um... the less said the better.
Iceland We spent the Semi making Thor puns for the entire song (he is hammering out a ballad, a booming voice, a thunderous sound, oh God!...). hopefully we can come up with 3 minutes more puns for the final.
Azerbaijan after 3 minutes of puns, I will be pissing myself so I will need a toilet break and in comes Azerbaijan. thanks
Greece lets put the Drinking anthem on when everyone is already well marinaded. this wont win but at least it is fun
Ukraine After Igor leaves the stage, it goes a little downhill. better than some but still not quality.
Italy this really needs a presence. In rehearsal even he looked bored with his performance. Maybe he needs some of that cocaine that France took before their rehearsal.
Norway this could really stand out after being after such a boring song. being so late in the evening though she needs to be careful with her white dress. ANOTHER BLOODY WHITE DRESS!!
Georgia the Disney song. if the alcohol doesn't make you vomit at this point, then this song will. watch out for the plastic on the females dress that she is using to smooth her boob-wrinkles
Ireland he isnt bad, but he has a crocked tooth which I just want to yank out. if thats the worst I can say about a performance, it has got to be top ten and in the semis eveyone in this room loved the tattooed drummers.

14 hours until all the fun starts