Finally

[passionpop]

f

again I have been sampling the clips. I have gone here, but there are many other sites you can get the clips from

 

So I have left the try-hards and I have reached those that don’t have to try at all. Tonight I review the acts in the Eurovision final, those lucky countries that done have to go through the prilim process... and we have titty shaking…

 

Belgium hopes to win with the latino song, they have a chance with the titty shaking, but the dancing detracts. her dress it too long to win anyway. Remember: if the audience cant see a female singers breakfast, they are less likely to win.

 

Austria is represented by a boy band with a ballad… need I say more

 

France’s singer could be in a boy band, but oooo he is cute…. Nice jeans hun. I have no idea what he’s singing and I don’t care, I’d buy that for a dollar

 

Germany is like rod Stewart or Eric Claptout unplugged or something. “Do do do do do do doooo-oo just you wait until tonight baby, do do do do do do dooo-ooo” yeah ok you get the point…

 

I think the word “wholesome” was mentioned in Irelands entry and that scared me. We have an evangilist in the building. The chorus goes “if my world stops turning in the morning, and if God should take this all away, if it all should stop without a warning, then I would still stand tall, because behind it all, you’re the one who made a winner out of me”… nope, sorry hun, you are a loser actually. But then after being the most successful country in Eurovision, I think Ireland have spent the past few years trying to get relegated from the competition. I think they think It is too easy for them to write crap that wins

 

Norway tried to be uplifting with a song called “High”. I thought that should be the name of maybe the Dutch entry or something… oh well…

 

Poland has given us a bit of a salsa, though it sounds like the vocals are done by Ertha Kitt or something… no Eartha is better…

 

If talent counts for anything in Eurovision, Romania wont get anywhere. Thankfully, however, it doesn’t and Tits and Arse does, and the singer of Romanias entry Sanda Ladosi has a plentiful supply of those, so I think this trashy bottle blonde will do well

 

There is only one thing I can say to describe Russia entry this year… avril lavinge. Gee Russia has taken on commercialisation so well. to think that just over a decade ago they were a communist country… how things change.

 

We have another Ricky martin competing for Spain. Not bad, not my type though

 

Proving again Sweeden is yet to get over the ABBA hump, Lena Philipsson looks like she has come straight out of the Agnetha/Anni-frid school of dance. In fact the foot movements at the start of the clip I saw were straight from Waterloo. I don’t care for the song, but again she will have a good chance because she has the lack of decency to carry it off… I saw her Weeties I think

 

Turkey is like Madness make salsa… or something. I dont know if I loath it or like it yet…  

 

and Finally the UK. it sounds like "every rose has its thorn" by Guns 'n' roses at the start, then it gets worse

 

what more can I say... this is exactly what I expected from Eurovsion... quality all the way