Karaoke Queen
Aug. 1st, 2011 07:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
passionpop There is something wrong with the word Karaoke. It has two consecutive letters that concern me, they are O and K. there is nothing OK about karaoke. Any victim in any karaoke venue in the world will confirm that karaoke is not ok, so why do I willingly inflict this torture upon myself. Maybe it is because I get revenge when I sing.
No matter how out of time I sing, or how off key, I will always hear worse. I am tortured to a level usually reserved for Guantanamo bay and there are certain songs that as soon as you see their name come up, you know that they will be bad, however no matter how prepared you are, they seem to surpass all expectations. Cher’s classic ‘If I could turn back time’ makes my stomach churn every time.
What is it about karaoke that brings out the inner redneck? Even in the inner metro area of Perth, the country crap comes out. Yes, Perth only pretends to be a city, but karaoke removes all pretence. Shania Twain should be killed, not performed. Petunia Clark sounds more like a flower and should be as silent as one and Kasey chambers, well Australian country music, enough said. Even rednecks should have better taste than that, but no.
The other group that karaoke attracts are the bogans, however it has been decided that a night of Cold Chisel followed by AC/DC followed by guns and roses is a much better prospect than a night in the redneck wonderland.
Do we think we can sing? Our voice sounds great on the way to the venue but once it is amped it sounds so off key. Maybe it is just the foldback or maybe we are tone deaf. For me it would explain my taste in music. I would like to blame alcohol, but I don’t drink and drive and a karaoke night that finishes at 11.15pm on a Thursday night cant use that excuse for anyone. If karaoke was Eurovision, the high obnoxious noises would result in a drink for the audience, but there is no such joy in sober karaoke.
Maybe the highlight is seeing the lyrics in ten centimetre high letters. Not only do you see how disturbing the lyrics of ‘Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen’ are, particularly when sung by a retiree, but we also get to see how nonsensical some of the lyrics to some of the most popular songs are. Who writes this crap and more importantly, who buys it?
What brings the people back? In the end it is the people; the publican and the karaoke DJ. The business of bar entertainment requires you to ‘befriend’ your clients so that the bars, in hiring you, obtain a rent-a-crowd. The client though must not be loyal to the DJ and not to the karaoke or their voice. In Karaoke, the DJ is close to being your friend than your voice is, but your voice is never your friend.
No matter how out of time I sing, or how off key, I will always hear worse. I am tortured to a level usually reserved for Guantanamo bay and there are certain songs that as soon as you see their name come up, you know that they will be bad, however no matter how prepared you are, they seem to surpass all expectations. Cher’s classic ‘If I could turn back time’ makes my stomach churn every time.
What is it about karaoke that brings out the inner redneck? Even in the inner metro area of Perth, the country crap comes out. Yes, Perth only pretends to be a city, but karaoke removes all pretence. Shania Twain should be killed, not performed. Petunia Clark sounds more like a flower and should be as silent as one and Kasey chambers, well Australian country music, enough said. Even rednecks should have better taste than that, but no.
The other group that karaoke attracts are the bogans, however it has been decided that a night of Cold Chisel followed by AC/DC followed by guns and roses is a much better prospect than a night in the redneck wonderland.
Do we think we can sing? Our voice sounds great on the way to the venue but once it is amped it sounds so off key. Maybe it is just the foldback or maybe we are tone deaf. For me it would explain my taste in music. I would like to blame alcohol, but I don’t drink and drive and a karaoke night that finishes at 11.15pm on a Thursday night cant use that excuse for anyone. If karaoke was Eurovision, the high obnoxious noises would result in a drink for the audience, but there is no such joy in sober karaoke.
Maybe the highlight is seeing the lyrics in ten centimetre high letters. Not only do you see how disturbing the lyrics of ‘Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen’ are, particularly when sung by a retiree, but we also get to see how nonsensical some of the lyrics to some of the most popular songs are. Who writes this crap and more importantly, who buys it?
What brings the people back? In the end it is the people; the publican and the karaoke DJ. The business of bar entertainment requires you to ‘befriend’ your clients so that the bars, in hiring you, obtain a rent-a-crowd. The client though must not be loyal to the DJ and not to the karaoke or their voice. In Karaoke, the DJ is close to being your friend than your voice is, but your voice is never your friend.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-08-01 11:19 am (UTC)Do you mean Petula Clark? She's not a country singer, she's one of the black soul singers from the 60s as far as I recall.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-07 06:20 am (UTC)and the song was sung in a country tone and it bugged me. ever since i first heard casey chambers, my only issue with her was i hated the country twang.