Eurovision Semi final 1

We are heading for one of the worst Eurovisions in History. There are very even good acts. Here is what to expect from the first semi based on the Second rehersals... and it is not good.

01 Finland
Sandhja
Sing It Away

Good song to open the show with, though people will have forgotten it by the end of the night which will hurt its votes. One would about this song is... teal

02 Greece
Argo
Utopian Land

well they didn't opt for a national selection this year. their internal selection shows they don't want to win... lets face it, they could not afford to host it if they did. wait for the reveal

03 Moldova
Lidia Isac
Falling Stars

This semi is going downhill fast. Like the use of the bathroom tiles on the dress.

04 Hungary
Freddie
Pioneer

I hope the camera sticks on the drummer. he is good. the rest of it is less so

05 Croatia
Nina Kraljić
Lighthouse

This song was top 5 a month ago. now it is barely in the top 20. there is competition for the Barbra Dex this year.

06 The Netherlands
Douwe Bob
Slow Down

You have to understand that in Perth we will be watching this at 3.30am and strugling to stay awake. Sadly this will probably qualify due o a lack of anything much better

07 Armenia
Iveta Mukuchyan
LoveWave

This is one of the sngs That should qualify only because it is better than average just. Someone thinks she is Beyence...

08 San Marino
Serhat
I Didn't Know

This guy is a bit of a turkey... no, no, no, no.

09 Russia
Sergey Lazarev
You Are The Only One

This song is going to piss all over everything else. it will win the semi 10 votes to 1

10 Czech Republic
Gabriela Gunčíková
I Stand

this is looking like one of the better songs but the performance looks shit after russia

11 Cyprus
Minus One
Alter Ego

toilet break

12 Austria
ZOË
Loin d'ici

the toilet roll doll might qualify

13 Estonia
Jüri Pootsmann
Play

This guy fully has he rape face. Whats the rape face? itis when a guy is trying to look sexy and sultry and instead has a look that says they dropped something in your drink and they are going to fvck you like Bill Cosby would...

14 Azerbaijan
Samra
Miracle

it is the year of the catsuit not sure if it will get this song over the line but with this competition anything is possible

15 Montenegro
Highway
The Real Thing

not entirely sure what to day about this one... I like the KITT bar at the front of the stage....

16 Iceland
Greta Salóme
Hear Them Calling

pretty much the same as the national final though people may see it as too similar to Russia's use of the background

17 Bosnia & Herzegovina
Dalal & Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala
Ljubav Je

another reveal. watch out for Jala's dress and try not to see a super villan mask in it.

18 Malta
Ira Losco
Walk On Water

She may walk on waters if they break during the performance.

I think the qualifiers will be Finland, Russia, Iceland, Armenia, Austria and fvck knows beyond that.