I am a dung beetle.... constantly pushing shit around

Germany are the carry-over-champions of Eurovision. Soon after they won, Lena, the singer of the winning song, announced she would love to defend her crown. so here we are again.

Last Year Germany sent a happy song, which suited Lena's sound, a sound that I commented last year, emulated one her idols Lisa Mitchell (from Australian Idol 'fame'), who took her sound from Missy Higgins, The Waifs, Frente!'s Angie Hart and a number of other Australian female singers of the 90's and naughties, and here it returns. 


I had two initial concerns about sending the same artist as last year, one: would she just go in and do the same thing as last year and two: would she stick with the same vocal sound or try and change it. the later was a concern because I know Angie Hart with pop!, and a vocal like that is a octagonal peg. Neither concern appears to be justified as she has found a suitable outlet for the sound that is different enough form last year and she has tweaked her vocal styling enough for it to pretty much work.

It is like a dark Bond track really. If Belarus sent any quality acts to Eurovision, this is what it would be like. The live version shows flaws in her vocals and the promo clip shows up how her vocal style isnt 100% for this song. either way though, she won last year by being the best of an average bunch, this year there is some much better quality songs and she has less chance. It is a smart song, it is certainly more mature than the last song, but something is missing. 

Though it is not a toilet break song, the song Germany won with in 1982 was. I want to see a performance, from both the 1982 song and from this years. I want sequins, I want pyrotechnics, I want something bloody interesting, just one thing is all I ask...  none of this political voting where a country only wins because it is the only one that can afford to host the following years contest... oops, did I say that

 Bosnia and Herzegovina have appeared in 16 Eurovisions in the last 2 decades. though their songs are not always Quality, they are often memorable for years after. who can forget In the Disco by Deen, or Feminnem's first flutter at Eurovision with Call Me. more to the point though, who wants to forget these Eurovision moments.... 

This year B&H have found some old guy and pushed his wheel chair out onto the stage and prodded him to sing. Seriously, give the man some dignity.



Bilbo Baggins had a brother it seems and he lives in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Sure he can sing, but can he carry the one ring that rules them all. Who gave Hobbits guitars anyways. 

Have listened to this song atleast 6 times trying to find something I like about it. he can hold a tune, and he will get votes from the dedas, babas and possibly  the nonnos and nonnas, but thats its limitation. It is there for the grandparents to vote for and wont hurt the popular acts in this years event.  though it will probably qualify for the final, it wont get anywhere.

Anyways, Bilbo's brother here (Dino, whatever his name is) is a Eurovision repeat offender. he represented Bosnia and Herzegovina back in 1999 with Béatrice Poulot (sorry about the postcard prior). wow the hobbit has aged... what has Peter Jackson put the Hobbit from B&H through... I feel like a cigarette...

Georgia have had a relatively short, though successful history in Eurovision, in all the 3 events they have competed in, they have made it to the final.Thats something that they wont achieve this year after seeing the live version of their song.

The most infamous incident in Eurovision History for Georgia was when they decided to go to Russia with 'We Don't want to Put In', a song that sounded like it was making a reference in the title to Russian President, Vladamir Putin. the song went 'We Don't want to Putin, I just want to shoot him'. sensibly they withdrew from the 2009 contest, rather than find members of their delegation had contracted mysterous ailments.



This is the live version, which is god awful. If you are going to be a lead singer, you have to be able to sing love... and if you are leading a band that is in a euro-rock genre, moving is also high up their with performance requirements. Why you would want sonmeone who is such a princess to be the lead singer of a band like this is beyond me

Other than the very 1990's retro feel of rapping randomly in a song, I have to admit that the recorded version is ok. It is 10000% better than the live version and that is no exaggeration. The recorded version is something you could almost hear on Triple J, the live version, well thats especially for Eurovision

For something from Georgia's Eurovision history, we go right back to last year when the the male dancers had diphallic images on their trousers.. 

Spain has won 1 1/4 eurovisions, being part of the infamous 4 way tie of 1969, and allegedly buying a win in 1968. They also have not missed a Eurovision in 50 years. one wonders if that makes Spain the biggest masochists in Eurovision.

The greatest performance Spain has ever given was arguably last years entry by Daniel Diges. When Jimmy Jump invaded the stage, the song continued so professionally that I for one wasnt 100% sure it was a stage invader until the 7th performer came out onto the stage.... I had been drinking though. yeah I know it was the second song, but... drinking!


 
What is it about the female singers in Eurovision looking like drag queens? OK the live version her makeup isn't as bad as in the promo clip but there appears to be a trend. drag performers are meant to look over the top, Eurovision performers... well...

The song is a nice floral little summery song that will get spain a similar result to every other year in recent history. Yes, I expect that they will be in the bottom half of the final again. If only they didnt have automatic qualification in the final. 

Now back to when the Elyse Keaton, the mum from family ties represented Spain. That was 1984... 

 

Cyprus has never finished higher than 5th in Eurovision, despite its almost guaranteed 12 points from Greece. Neither of these situations will change this year, if Cyprus makes it into the final which is a big if there

The promo video for the song from Cyprus is worth watching, only because it looks like the dodgy clips you get on karaoke discs. but I do love the live version (below) just for the bit where the girl walks forward, eventually sings her wailing cry then walks back. it was a bit of a 'get back into your boxbitch' moment, and with a wailing cry like that, the statement is deserved. 



The song itself starts off like a good ballad, something this year really needs. I got over it when it became a power ballad though. I think this song will qualify though and will be Cyprus' best result since 2004. simple

What I like best about this years entry is his bio. it reads that 'His hobbies include tennis, swimming and informatics', sounds a bit like a personals ad. lets translate: he plays with a partner, he plays with himself and he surfs the net for porn. from my experience at online personals, I am sure that a correct reading.

See if you really want to impress someone, you have to put enough hair spray in your hair to have your own hole in the ozone layer. Greek hair that Effie would be proud of, that was Cyprus in 1991

 The Netherlands may have won 4 Eurovisions in the first 20 year of the contest, but in recent years, they cant even get into the final. since the introduction of the semi, they have only progressed to the final once and that was in the first year that the semi existed in 2004

After 36 years of poor reseults, the Netherlands has one hope: they say Holland was saved by the little boy who put his finger in the dike. I think he had better warm that finger up then...


This song is a definite improvement on recent years. Bad News for the dutch is that they are against Ireland and Israel in their semi who are early favourites, the good news is 10 countries squeeze through to the final. I think this will qualify, which could cause half the population of the Netherlands to pass out of shock... well they may pass out at least... 

A more serious look at the song, at at least 'at the sweet end of your trail' leaves me more questions than answers... if she is leaving a trail maybe she should see a doctor, that could be a urinary tract infection, though she could just be like stirring the porridge... but you can get that from your Netherlands... 

Going back to happier times and happier thoughts, 1957, the first Eurovision win for the Netherlands, back in the days where there was no maximum length for the song, you have been warned:

Turkey has been in Eurovision since 1975 with minimal success and lots of failures. though even after finishing last three times, they kept trying, bless em, and eventually it was worth it. 

In "every way that I can' i believe that Turkey deserved their win in 2003, but this years entry doesn't deserve to end the same. 



It starts out sounding very bogan and you could see this being huge at a B&S, until the vocals start. you can almost hear the gold chains clinking to the music after that. this song should only be heard from hotted up commodores doing bog laps through freo. I don't want to hear it, but thats the only place it would be appropriate.

Obviously  Turkey thought they did well with MaNga last year and thought to give us more of the same... just crap. These guys don't even have sex appeal to help them... they should go back to being bouncers outside the nightclubs rather than attempting to play music inside. 

So now for something with a result closer to what this years entry will get. last place from 1983:

 Denmark last won Eurovision in 2000 after waiting for 37 years for their second win. admittedly 10 years through the 60's and 70's Denmark didn't compete and 1994 they were relegated. They haven't stopped trying though, and even if most of their acts in recent years have been a big 'naff', we still have them in the contest. 

At least Denmark can count on votes from their friends, thus ensuring they have only finished last once. yay for the Nordic countries... 


Wow, this sound takes me back... i would expect this sound in about 1992 at best, but retro is in isnt it. but retro explains the sound, what explains the hair? molded from an old toothbrush perhaps?

I don't hate this song, lets face it, i love the early 90's, and though it is the best thing Denmark has sent to Eurovision in ages, I just keep hearing Duran Duran. Eurovision is not known for its originality, and they are no Wild Boys, and they hey may be Hungry Like the Wolf to win, they may have to Save a Prayer and go to Rio instead. Sorry, that last part was all just The Reflex or mentioning Duran Duran....

Anyways, after ten years out of the contest, this is what Denmark returned with. Did i say yay for Nordic countries? Enjoy:

 Serbia won their first Eurovision as an independent country, but rapidly went down hill. being an automatic finalist in 2008, 2009 saw them fail to reach the final (just, though they should have qualified, their song was much better than Croatia's which got in in lieu of Serbia).

In  2010 Serbia's entry was the 'Jedward' of that year and was an improvement despite how annoying it was. This year the improvement has continued and this song is nowhere near as annoying as Milan Stanković.



The english version is available to listen to here and I suggest it be given a listen. Once you get past the Human Nature sound of this (oh they could cover this for their mothers day album, I can see it now) and the 60's set design, this song is so happy and bubbly that it makes you sick! I think this is the best competition for Blue sofar. 

my liking of a song is generally the kiss of death (except in 2006 and 2009) but i can see myself car-dancing to this and humiliating myself at traffic lights. I am not due to like the winner until next year but how can anyone hate this song? I challenge anyone not to bop to this song. I want to watch people struggling not to bop to this, that would be amusing....

Due to the 60's feel of this song, I am going back to the 1960s for a song from Yugoslavia

 Belgium's claim to fame in Eurovision is that their only win came from a 13 year old girl. Since that win, an age limit was put on the contest and now all contestants must be 16, so Sandra Kim will forever remain the youngest Eurovision winner. 

This year marks 25 years since Belgium's win and they are hoping that with love (baby), they can win. 



The bass and beatbox is amazing in this song, and though I love how talent can shine in a capella, I find that the girls be a bit pitchy. as seen in the live performance. it hasnt set off any of the local dogs though, so that means it may not be bad... but then the UK and Croatia were the only two that have got dogs going, and the UK is looking good. so not setting off the dogs is bad.... anyways

I like this alot better than their song from last year which came 6th. This year though I am working on the Jedward scale. do I like this more or less than Jedward. I think it is equal, though i think on the night, Jedward will finish better than Witloof Bay

Now to an act that appears to be made up of Philippinno mail order brides doing Karaoke, though they dont sound that bad, they just look that bad